Infant Potty Training / Elimination Communication

When Eva was first born, I remember thinking that she would be easy to toilet train because she so hated to be in wet diapers. But within a matter of weeks she became "diaper trained" and no longer complained about being wet or dirty. And in fact, it was a six month struggle to finally untrain her from using her diapers for elimination. I didn't want to go through that with Micah if I could help it.

I thought back to a conversation I had with another mom a number of years ago. She told me that she had been practicing "elimination communication" with her son since he was born. I listened skeptically, thinking to myself that it sounded like too much work. I've changed my mind since then. Isn't it work to change and buy diapers? And to toilet train a toddler? Not to mention the impact diaper use (both disposable and cloth) has on the environment. I also considered the fact that my diapered child spends much of the day sitting on his or her own urine or feces. Not a lot of dignity in that. There are plenty of cultures out there that don't have access to diapers. They must have figured out a solution that works. What is it?

They pay attention to their babies' cues and give them opportunity to eliminate in an appropriate place. According to one article, parents in over 75 countries practice "elimination communication".

6 month old Micah

When Micah was about 4 months old I held him over the toilet. He peed! I became convinced that this concept had merit. It wasn't just a fluke- he would gladly go three of four times that I offered him the opportunity. I would either hold him in a supported squat position over the toilet or put him on a great little potty I got at the local supermarket. (Many EC'ers swear by the Little Bjorn Potty.)

According to EC'ers, newborn babies are adverse to being near their eliminations, and will actually wiggle away after they go, if undiapered. Babies give signals that they need to eliminate, and with close observation a parent or other caregiver can recognize these signals and offer a potty opportunity accordingly. Among these signals are fussiness, squirming, becoming still, and grunting. Some parents choose to go diaper free right from birth. Others start after a few weeks or months. Some do it full time, others part time, and still others occasionally.

Our approach has been halfway between diaper-free and conventional diapering. Until recently, Micah wore disposable diapers day and night. However I would put him on the potty a number of times a day. Most babies need to go after eating and sleeping, so I would often offer him a potty opportunity after he woke up or after he ate. This approach has already saved us lots of diapers. Especially poopy diapers. He is quite regular and happy to use the potty for his daily duty (unfortunately for us this event generally takes place at 6am or earlier). The majority of the last year's poops have gone into the potty or toilet, not into a diaper.

About a week ago I stopped diapering him. He either goes nude or wears his Bummis training pants around the house during the day. He uses pull-ups for sleeping and outings. He's doing fairly well but he has a ways to go yet. He does better when he's nudie than when he's wearing underpants. When he’s wearing a diaper or something diaper-like I guess he slips into the old habit of just peeing in it when he gets the urge. He does wake up dry from his nap now. This after I double-bagged him with some cotton training undies plus the Bummis and he soaked them. Guess he didn’t want to repeat that soggy uncomfortable experience. The other night when he woke up at 2am he asked to go potty, and his pullup was dry. So we are making progress! My goal is to be completely diaper free by the time he is two (next October). I would be thrilled if it were sooner!

A very interesting and awesome side effect to "EC" is that it strengthens our connection with our son. We are much more observant of him than we might have been- we watch for his elimination signs but it spills into all areas. There is a satisfaction and depth of relationship that results from us successfully reading our baby’s cues and from Micah feeling understood.

If you are interested in EC, check out www.diaperfreebaby.org for more information, or Google "elimination communication", "natural infant hygiene" or "infant potty training".